by Dr. Erin Reynolds 

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”

--Dita Von Teese

 I was the second to arrive in a family of five daughters. Because my father was a Naval Officer, my family traveled a lot from base to base in our early years. The story goes that to keep us from fighting in the car, my very musical mother would have us sing together. As we grew, our melodies became four-part harmonies, and we began performing for different events in our local community. The crowds grew larger, and the applause louder as our talent developed. I learned if you work hard at what you do, you will be recognized and rewarded for it. This led to a performance mindset. All I had to do was perform, and people would love me.

The performance mindset worked great until my 50s when I began working at a school in what I thought was the “perfect role.” I taught a course where my assignment was to help first-year high school students develop the skills they would need to be successful over the next four years of high school and beyond. After three years of applause in this role, there was a change in leadership, and the new leader wanted me out.

I thought the courageous thing to do was to hold on and demonstrate I could be anything my new boss wanted me to be. I was a performer, after all. But, every time I made a change, he would come back with something else that made me unsatisfactory for the role. I spent much time trying to please him and demonstrate my worthiness. The mindset I had learned from performing as a young child did not carry over as an adult.

Letting go of my performance mindset helped me to have the courage to embrace all I had to offer. 

Ultimately, saying goodbye to a job I loved was saying hello to a new perspective on my worth. 

Where in your life are you so busy people-pleasing, becoming what someone else wants you to be, that you have lost sight of what you have to offer? 

What steps can you take this week to courageously offer your gifts and talents to others?