ļ»æKathy
Welcome back to another episode of Coping where we explore life's challenges and the ways we navigate them. Today we're diving into a topic that is near and dear to my heart and what we are leading off our theme for this year for Be Well and that is calling.
Kevin
That's right. Calling is a topic near and dear to your heart as it is to mine. We've done an episode on calling before and some workshops. So today in our episode, we're hoping to discuss and debunk some of the common misconceptions about calling that can leave people feeling stuck or unsure about what their purpose is in life.
So let's get started.
Kathy
So as we dive into calling today, we're looking at these common misconceptions or myths of our calling. The first one that I've heard forever is that calling is unchanging and linear.
Kevin
Many people seem to have the idea that once you discover your calling that it'll never change. The reality is that people are called; jobs are not callings. And so whenever you change jobs, the call changes with you and oftentimes you can move closer into your call and as you evolve over time you move closer to answering that call in your life. It doesn't stay stagnant.
Kathy
Yes, and so let's unpack this a little bit more as well. The reason that we believe that calling is unchanging and linear, one has to do sometimes with what's happened in our society.
So according to, like, the US Bureau of Labor and Statistics in 1950, the average person held one to two jobs. In 1980, that grew to about four to six. Kevin, what would you think the number is now for the average number of jobs that a person holds in their lifetime in 2025?
Kevin
Over their whole lifetime?
Kathy
Yep.
Kevin
I don't know. I would say my immediate guess would be like seven or eight different jobs.
Kathy
So the average number is 12 for 2025.
Kevin
Oh my gosh, really?
Kathy
Yes. And so we tend to think in the 1950s mindset. And honestly, we also tend to think about what our parents did, how many jobs they had, and that was generations ago. So we have to get out of that mindset, number one.
Number two, Yale professor Amy Rosinski talks about this idea of what you just said about the difference between calling, job and a career. So I want to unpack that as well. The first view that we have on our work is that it's a job. So we're going to define a job as something that pays the bills. Okay, that's a job. Secondly, we can also view our jobs as a career. And what that means is that we are climbing up that career ladder, we're setting goals, we are literally figuring out what are the next steps to ascend our career ladders, right? But thirdly, and this is what we're discussing today, is about viewing our work as a calling. And what that entails is that it attaches meaning, purpose, and fulfillment to the work that we are actually called to do in the world. And so that means then, obviously, it would be that it's changing, it's evolving, our world is evolving, our lives are evolving. So obviously, our callings can evolve. And when I've taught vocation groups, one of the images that I've used is that of the Russian dolls. You all know these little Russian stacking dolls that come inside of each other. And so there's a Russian dolls evolving into bigger versions of that same doll. And that's what I see calling as evolving.
Kevin
And as a very steadfast person like you are, Kathy, remaining largely than the same person over such a long period of time. So I wonder if you could speak just a little bit to this idea of being steadfast in your calling.
You're the type of person that a lot of people in our lives turn to over a long period of time, you're a very grounded and steadfast person. How do you balance being such a steadfast person and allowing your calling to evolve over time?
Kathy
That's a great question. I think that it has a lot to do with taking time for reflection and to listening. Parker Palmer has this wonderful quote about, and he has done a lot of work in writing. His book is called, "Let Your Life Speak". And his quote says, "Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am."
Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. Calling is rooted in identity. And if you've battled with identity like all of us have, when we begin to accept the parts of ourselves with grace and with a view of worthiness, then we can utilize those parts to serve the world. And so I would say my steadfastness comes from my willingness to listen, to continually keep listening to who I am and who I'm called to be, and what that then translates to into the world, which the core is, yeah, it's the same. High school students who had me 30 years ago would have a conversation and say that Ms. Young back then is the same as the person that they're talking to now, but I know that I have evolved and grown and my calling has evolved from being in front of a traditional classroom every day to teaching in spaces like these.
Kevin
Yeah, you're so right. Our calling isn't fixed. It adapts as we do.
And so, you know, I found like I know you have the detours in our story and in our lives or sometimes where that growth happens and equips us better for the calling that we have in our lives.
Kathy
Yeah, so that leads us to our second myth. This is one that I hear often. Calling is for other people. So they will say, oh, you have a calling, Kathy, but I don't. Calling is for other people.
Kevin
Yeah, you know, it's really easy to think that the people around us -- those that we look up to our mentors, our teachers, those that do dangerous jobs -- are the extraordinary individuals who have a calling while the rest of us are just going through the motions or living in survival or are, you know, living day to day.
Kathy
Yes, but the truth is you are called to a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. What I often say is you were put on the planet to fulfill your unique purpose that no one else can fulfill. So your experiences, your skills, your personality, your unique design will meet the world's deepest needs if you will stop to acknowledge and embrace it.
Kevin
And it's so important to remember that even your struggles, and I would even say especially your struggles, are the things that help shape your calling. And it's not about the best or most visible people in our society. It's about all of us showing up authentically in the spaces where we already are and where the biggest unmet need is in our sphere of influence.
Kathy
Yeah, for calling is for other people, I think how that showed up in my life is I'm a third-generation educator. But when I was in high school and college, I did not embrace that fact that my father was a professor, I have numerous relatives that are, and my grandparents were principals in the islands. And so I was running away from the call of teaching and education for a number of years. I set that aside and said that's not for me.
I was thinking that was for other people. Yeah. And what about you, Kevin?
Kevin
So for me, as a chaplain, as an ordained minister, a clergy member, my position is one that does lend itself to the understanding that I am called and that my job is a calling. And so I think in conversation with other people who are not in ministry work, per se, view themselves as different, that they say, well, you know, you're called because you're a minister, you're a pastor, but for me, I'm just a small business owner, or I just take care of my dad, who's elderly and sick.
A lot of people will associate calling with clergy as opposed to accepting it as something that they can do in their own life.
Kathy
Yes. For certain. And today we want to empower you and acknowledge and encourage you to know that you do have a specific purpose. It doesn't have to be something that is so singular.
We said it's evolving. But that leads us to our third myth that calling is always clear and obvious. This is one that we have to unlock and unchain ourselves from. That calling is always clear and obvious. That's right. Bill Burnett, some of you may know their work, Design Your Life. He has this quote, which I think is really interesting. "It doesn't matter where you come from, where you think you're going, what job or career you've had or think you should have. You're not too late and you're not too early." And so in their program, which you may know also from their TED Talks, Design Your Life Thinking, it's this idea that you can craft your calling based on the clues and strengths and the gifts and the experiences. And as Kevin calls it, the crumbs along the way to find your calling.
Kevin
Yeah, this is a big one, and you talked about one aspect of it that you may look at your current circumstance, your age, your financial situation, and say, I'm clearly not called because I don't have the means to answer our call in my life. The flip side of that is that people who want to have a calling believe that it's like a lightning bolt that hits you.
It's like a road to Damascus type experience where, you know, there's a time in which you aren't called, and then all of a sudden you are called. You had this life altering event that happens, and then calling is clear and certain, and you then go down that path of your calling, and that's what you do the rest of your life.
Kathy
Yeah, and I think Hollywood has not helped with that. We can all remember the Ten Commandments with Moses standing before the burning bush. And look, we will acknowledge that was a calling in his life. It wasn't the calling of his entire life, though.
It was one piece where he was called to go and lead the people out of Egypt, right? But we have this burning bush moment etched into our brains of like, oh, it has to be, you know, this moment of standing on holy ground to have our callings. But it's not that clear and obvious. We don't have burning bush moments, most of us, for callings. Some of us do.
Kevin
You know, the way that I heard it described in seminary by a professor is that some of us have these capital C conversion or calling moments, but the majority of us have these lowercase C calling conversion moments, where it's those little experiences, the little yeses that have the biggest impact on us. And I would even argue that those people that have those big C calling moments, like you described Moses, if you read his story from a young age and know some of the history surrounding his young adult life before the burning bush, there were so many little C conversion moments that led him to saying yes in that moment standing before the burning bush.
And so our encouragement here with this one is simply, it may not be abundantly clear that you are called, or it may not be abundantly obvious what that calling is, but just know that if you go in the direction that God is leading you, if you look towards the intersection of your natural giftings and the unmet needs of the people and community around you, if you go in that direction, you will get closer and closer with each step that you take.
Kathy
Yes, absolutely. What a great encouragement. These myths can be so limiting, but understanding the truths behind them can free us to explore our calling with curiosity and grace.
Kevin
To recap our three myths and the truths behind them, the first myth is calling is linear. And the truth?
Calling evolves over time. The second myth is that calling is for other people, but the truth is you are called to a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. And finally, the third myth, calling is always clear and obvious. But the reality is, calling emerges through exploration and reflection.
Kathy
Thank you so much for joining us today on another episode of Coping. And as we end this episode, I'm going to read a portion of John Donahue's poem, "For the Traveler", which I think is very appropriate as we explore the road of calling.
When you travel, a new silence goes with you. And if you listen, you will hear what your heart would love to say. A journey can become a sacred thing. Make sure, before you go, to take the time to bless your going forth, to free your heart of ballast, so that the compass of your soul might direct you toward the territories of spirit where you will discover more of your hidden life and the urgencies that deserve to claim you. May you travel in an awakened way, gathered wisely into your inner ground, that you may not waste the invitations which wait along the way to transform you. May you travel safely, arrive refreshed, and live your time away to its fullest. Return home more enriched and free to balance the gift of days which call you.
