Kevin
Welcome back everyone to another episode of Coping. And if you can believe it, this is our last episode of this season. I can't believe we're through the end of our fourth season. My goodness.
Kathy
Yes, this is actually episode 107 in our fourth season. What are your thoughts on getting to this milestone?
Kevin
Yeah you know it is kind of surreal that there's been so many episodes. You and I both know there's been a lot of work put into these episodes so it's no surprising that we have so many of them, but I'm just really proud of the ways that this podcast has evolved.
Kevin
It's been a creative outlet for me for a few years and it's been a joy to partner with you. What about for you? What do you make of 107 episodes four seasons?
Kathy
Yeah, so I think that it is a tangible reminder of the work that we do every single day and week and month and year. Sometimes when you're knee-deep into the work, you forget to celebrate and to look back and see the grace and the goodness that has happened.
Kathy
And it's a reflection of, you know, the resources, the free resources, one arm of our organization that we like to offer. And so, yeah, I think it's appropriate that this is the end of season four and our topic is celebration. So let's get started.
Kathy
And so as we conclude season four, our topic today is celebration. And I wonder, Kevin, did you grow up in a family that invited you to celebrate or had a lot of rituals and family traditions around celebration?
Kevin
Yeah, you know, thinking back to my family growing up, we did do a celebration. We did some of the pretty typical celebrations around birthdays and holidays. You know, we would gather with family out of state. We would travel to see our grandparent. We would travel to see our grandmother and spend holidays with cousins. You know, birthdays were something that we celebrated with cake and, you know, gatherings and things. So those are some of the pretty typical ones. I think the only other thing that comes to mind about celebration is that our family did watch the Marlins. We watched the Dolphins as we grew up in Florida and Miami specifically.
Kevin
And so a lot of our celebration centered around holidays, birthdays. And then when our sports teams did well, we certainly celebrated and enjoyed, you know, those highs of following sports teams. What about for you?
Kathy
Yeah, so I think that we had similar to you, but I would say that my family was very intent on gatherings and hosting and hospitality, which I think is a huge component of celebration. It's the art of connecting people and inviting people into your spaces.
Kathy
So we grew up with, for example, my dad was a professor, so we would have students at Thanksgiving who had no place to go. And we could celebrate with them and teach them about, especially if they were from other countries, teach them about American Thanksgiving. And so growing up in that family where there were intentional gatherings, I think that when I had my own children, I wanted, especially, for example, their birthdays to be extraordinary events and moments and mile markers in their lives.
Kathy
So even now our kids could tell you about some of the memorable birthday celebration and parties, and we didn't have a lot of money to do them, but we could use creativity. And back in those days, there were websites that had lots of ideas that other people had done. And so I just infused all of those to create really meaningful celebrations for your typical birthdays and events. But I think that we also have expanded that practice of celebration into other areas.
Speaker 2
And that brings me to our book that we'll reference today. It's Adele Calhoun's book called "Spiritual Disciplines: Practices That Transform Us." A number of years ago, I was preparing for a retreat and I happened to pick up this book, and it was so eye -opening to me that one of the chapters on spiritual practices was called "Celebration".
Kathy
Having grown up in a pretty conservative, traditional, church-gowing family, I knew about the practice that the Israelites had in the Old Testament of celebration and also in the new. It just never clicked for me that it was something that was divinely ordained to have celebration, even though, like it just never clicked. I'd never put two and two together until I read this book. And it was really, I would say, encouraging to me to realize that my practice of celebration was actually a spiritual practice. And what she writes here is in this book, she says, "God celebrates. He invented delight, joy, and celebration. And one way we enter into the divine life of the Trinity is through celebration, whether solemn or exhilarating, formal or spontaneous, celebration can enlarge our capacity to enjoy and serve God.
Kathy
Celebrating God does not depend on perfect circumstances or happy feelings." I really liked the end of that, that it doesn't all have to be a celebration atmosphere in our lives to celebrate. And I think that you and I have understood that having come through and are continuing to go through challenging times, but we can engage in these practices daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. So what are your thoughts on all of that?
Kevin
Yeah, it's so such a good quote. And like you said, especially the ending about celebrating doesn't have to depend on perfect circumstances or happy feelings. And I think we would take that one step further in our own philosophy around celebration, that it's important that you celebrate, especially in the hard times.
Kevin
When things aren't going well or when you're not feeling it, it's important to balance out the bitter with the sweet, like we've said before here on this podcast. You know, the phrase that comes to mind related to that is, you know, we have to laugh or else we'll cry, but very true in our world today with all that, with all the troubles and struggles and challenges in the world today, celebration can seem very superficial and can seem really disconnected from the reality of how hard things are.
Kevin
And while that can be true, it's also true that celebration can be the thing that we do in faith in spite of our circumstances or even because of them, especially when those celebrations are for intentionality and for connection.
Kevin
It can be the very thing that gets us through the really difficult challenge that we might be facing. And so when I think about celebrations and the way that you and I have encouraged celebration as a value within our relationship, within our family, I think about there being opportunities to do that every day, every week, but then, you know, monthly and yearly.
Kevin
So, you know, the daily, weekly celebrations, for example, you and I really enjoy eating a sweet treat together. Sometimes you'll find something at the grocery store and you'll pick it up for me and surprise me. There's times that I'll get something sweet from the cafeteria at work and bring it home and surprise you. And we'll share that sweet treat together. That's a very simple way of having a little bit of joy, a little bit of sweetness and to celebrate that. I would say likewise, the daily and weekly celebrations can include just looking back on what you were doing that day, the year previous. We use a photo app right now that gives us a lot of memories of what happened on that date in previous years.
Kevin
And, you know, each morning I check into that app and you and I spend some time looking at what occurred on that day. And that's a way to look back and to remember and to reflect. And I think that's perhaps another value of the way that you and I celebrate is that it's fun, it's joyful, but it's also meaningful that we take time to reflect and to express gratitude in the midst of those celebrations. Yeah. So those are the ones that come to mind for me. What about for you? What are other ways that we can continue in the spirit of celebration?
Kathy
Yeah, I received a text message from one of my students yesterday, and in teaching and working with wellness, I have instilled their idea of celebration in them. And so she sent me this text, "hey, I just wanted to celebrate. I took two hours today to get my budget back in order. Since the move, I've been not doing well with keeping track of things, but I've got a plan now to save and pay off moving debt." And so that was really delightful.
Kathy
And I sent her a gift back like, "whoo, that's so great." That's what I just want everyone to know is that when we pause and reflect on something that we have been able to do, that is a cause for celebration.
Kathy
Sometimes we're just like, oh, well, it took me forever to check it off my to-do list. And I finally did it. And we beat ourselves up. But the spirit of which she sent this message, I think is the spirit of celebration.
Kevin
Exactly.
Kathy
And what we can do every single day. And so I would also say that there are other practices that we can do daily. One is like a gratitude practice at night before you go to sleep, you could list three things that you're grateful for that happened during -- new things, I would say that happened that day -- that's just some ways that we can do celebrating on our daily and weekly basis.
Kathy
And as we think about monthly, you can continue that. Of course, there are always going to be like monthly celebrations of anniversaries or birthdays, or I love your one about the photo memories. The social media apps are always reminding us of that. But at that moment when you're reminded, you can take time to celebrate. And it's a reminder, too, to celebrate other people, not just things that we do, but to be able to make celebrations for others into something really special and meaningful.
Kevin
Yeah, I would say along with that, our monthly celebration practice includes celebrating our anniversary every month. We don't have to wait to celebrate on the month and the day. The day of each month can be the day that you celebrate. So being very intentional about creating space and time around joy and celebration and connection is really great. And I like what you said about celebrating not just ourselves, but celebrating others as well. I'll save on my calendar important dates for people and send them a text or send them an email just to say, "hey, thinking about you today on this special day."
Kevin
And so not only does that bring them joy, but it brings me joy in remembering them and staying connected to them and those milestone celebrations as well.
Kathy
Yeah and so yearly many of you know we do have yearly practices with our community and we also do it with our family. We call it the Year in Review as we are looking back on the year but then also planning to choose our word for the next year. Talk about this a little bit Kevin.
Kevin
Yeah. So we have this really fun practice that we do every year. Actually, we're about approaching the time where we're going to start this practice, usually in late fall. So end of October, beginning of November, we start filling out our book called The Year in Review. And essentially this book is a list of simple questions that helps prompt our memory about what has occurred in this past year. A lot of these questions come from other authors that have suggested things to reflect on in the past year.
Kevin
But we've added a lot of our own questions or own simple memories from our family and things that we want to remember annually, like, you know, favorite movie you went to this last year or favorite party or best family friend.
Kevin
You know, worst injury over the year, maybe not something you want to remember, but important to think about how far you've come since that illness or injury. But, you know, just really reflective and meaningful practice that we do to look back on the year, to laugh, to remember. And it's this collective memory that our whole family chips in about what their favorite movie was, what their favorite show was, their favorite vacation that we went on as a family. It's just a really fun practice and to express some gratitude for the year and to remember some of the hard things in the past year.
Kevin
So we print this book every year. We fill it out every single year. And we've been doing it for some years now. How long have we been doing? And remind me, what was the origin of this? How did this all get started?
Kathy
Sure. So in 2016, in January, I was invited to like a vision boarding, vision board workshop, like event at someone's house. And there I was introduced to the work of Susanna Conway. And she is one of the original creators of what we now know is Find Your Word.
Kathy
And so I started doing it personally for about three or four years. And then I brought the practice to our community and to our family. And now we don't, there's not a year that goes by that we have not done the practice of reflecting, looking back and then also looking forward. So it's such a crucial integral part of our year now. And it is, in essence, a combination of reflection and celebration. And what do you feel like the main thing that you have learned through this practice of celebration?
Kevin
You know, I am the kind of person that doesn't spend a lot of time thinking about the past. I often don't remember what I've been through and some of the suffering that I've experienced. And for many years, that's given me the ability to keep forging ahead and not being held back by those challenges.
Kevin
But you've taught me in our relationship the importance of remembering and expressing gratitude that I have indeed come so far. And to celebrate and to be grateful for God's goodness and giving me the strength of power to get through that situation, but also the strength for any other challenge that I may face going forward.
Kevin
So I think, you know, in simple terms, it's the difference between learning the practice of praying and asking for something, and then learning the practice of praying and saying thank you for something. And so I think in our spiritual lives, we spend a lot of time asking and petitioning for God to answer a prayer of ours. But how often do we take time to reflect back on the prayers that have been answered, on the resolution of some of the challenges that we faced?
Kevin
I think it's in these reflection times that it actually builds our faith and that it gives us the courage to ask again and to go to God again, because our faith ultimately is dependent upon God's faithfulness. And so reflecting has become such an important practice. And although my memory isn't as good as yours, you helping me remember gives me renewed sense of faith and hope about the future. And even when it is that we're remembering a lot of the hard things that we've been through.
Kevin
You're the one that introduced this practice to me and to our family. Why did you feel that it was so important that we included this as something that we did annually for our family?
Kathy
I think it is just that process of remembering, you know, the Israelites were commanded to sing a song, to remember the crossing of the Red Sea, and I remember singing that song as a little girl. There are many rituals throughout Scripture, Passover, and things like that, that the Israelites stopped and remembered the past to give them hope for the future.
Kathy
So, I just think it's remembering the principles, like remembering God's faithfulness in the past gives us hope for the future. And so, it can remind us of provision in our past and remind us where we've come from, and then that can just build upon our faith for things that we're going through right now and then give us strength and hope for the future.
Kathy
And I love to end today Adele Calhoun's, to finish her quote, she says, "We can seek the pulse of hope and celebration because it is God's reality. Heaven is celebrating, even right now", which I think is such a great and awesome thought. And so, why wouldn't we join in with the angels every day, week, month? Let's all join in the celebration.
Kevin
Yeah, that's so good and a great reminder even in the midst of uncertainty about the future that we take the time to celebrate now because we're not guaranteed tomorrow. We don't know what tomorrow will hold and so taking time to celebrate, to remember, to reflect today will build the hope and faith that we need for what's up ahead. And so to end our episode today, let's take a moment to pause and to listen to a celebration meditation adapted from Heidi Coker.
Kevin
Every day there are opportunities for celebration, many victories like making a perfect cup of coffee or tea, the sunlight coming through the window that creates a prism on your table or counter. Some days getting out of bed is a victory in itself.
Kevin
How about your car starting without any problems? There are victories to be celebrated all around us and typically we let them pass by. We take for granted all the many miracles that we are gifted every day.
Kevin
You taking time to listen to this meditation is a victory. You and I breathing together is a perfect reason for celebration. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and maybe the same is true about victory and celebration.
Kevin
The more we can rejoice about what is going well for us the more we will find. Five minutes of quiet time is a victory so let's have a celebration right now. Let us sit victoriously finding a comfortable position.
Kevin
Let's close our eyes and I invite you to visualize someone putting a golden medal around your neck. Put a large smile on your face and pretend like someone is handing you a trophy. Putting both hands and arms up in the air raising the trophy above your head.
Kevin
You've won. And take those hands and fingers open them up nice and wide. Your chin is high. Your chest is expanded. Bask in the moment of joy. Take it all in. You've won. Let us celebrate your victory.
Kevin
Keeping those arms up in the air. Take it all in. Take a deep breath in and sigh with satisfaction. You've done it and as you slowly lower your arms acknowledge your accomplishment of sitting here in presence.
Kevin
Let your hands come all the way down and rest them lightly in your lap. You are victorious and this breath is cause for celebration. Let's celebrate our many wins all day and every day. May you go out into the world feeling victorious and find many reasons for celebration. Amen.
